A Gift and A Promise
by kellydofc
Summary: October 31, 1981 from the perspective of two best friends.


This is a one shot that has been running through my mind for awhile. So thought I'd share

To all my faithful readers I am still working on _Road Not Taken._ The new chapter should be up very soon.

Everything in bold italics was taken from Deathly Hallows. In Lily's case it came from the Godric's Hollow chapter and in Severus' from The Prince's Tale.

I hope you enjoy. Oh and not J.K. but thanks to her for giving us wonderful characters and letting us play with them.

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><p>A Gift and A Promise<p>

It was a quiet night in the village of Godric's Hollow, so quiet it was easy to forget the war the wizarding world was currently entangled in. It was a calm Lily Potter was thankful for. Ever since her old Headmaster Albus Dumbledore had come to tell her and her husband James about the prophecy and the fact that You-Know-Who was hunting them and their son, life had become almost unbearably stressful.

For days afterward there had been endless meetings with Albus and then with Sirius about how they would protect themselves and Harry. Dumbledore had offered to perform the Fidelius Charm himself but in the end James and Sirius had concocted a plan between them to hide the Potters. It wasn't a plan that Lily was overly comfortable with and she had become even more hesitant when James and Sirius had decided to make Peter Pettigrew their secret keeper instead of Sirius.

It hadn't been until after the other two Marauders were gone that Lily had told James how uncomfortable she was with the idea of Peter performing the charm. The fight that had followed was loud and drawn out and though James had ultimately won things remained tense between them.

Lily sighed and turned away from the bedroom window. Soon children would be running through the village, celebrating what had always been one of her favourite holidays. When she had first discovered that she was a witch she thought it would lessen her enjoyment of Halloween: instead she found that somehow she actually enjoyed it more. She smiled, remembering how she had dressed as a witch that first year after Severus had told her the truth, complete with a black dress, pointy hat, broom and fake wart. He had shaken his head and grumbled about stereotypes while she had laughed happily.

Another sigh escaped Lily's lips as she thought about her erstwhile best friend. For years after the end of their friendship she had tried to push him from her mind. Mostly she succeeded, though every once in awhile thoughts of him would flit unbidden through her mind. It was usually an important day such as her wedding or Harry's birth when she would, for just one second, pretend that he hadn't chosen to become a Death Eater and was there to share the moment with her. But the reality of what he had become usually came back quickly and thoughts of him were shoved back into the far recesses of her mind with other memories that were best forgotten.

At least, that's the way it had been until an Order meeting a month ago. It had all started normally enough, with too little intelligence gathered and far too many deaths to report. And then, towards the end of the meeting, Dumbledore had shared his news, he had managed to persuade one of Lord Voldemort's followers to turn spy. The Order was in an uproar, laughing and hugging one another, it was the first good news they had gotten in a long time. Remus had just released his hold on her when Lily saw Dumbledore looking at her meditatively.

"_Oh God, it's Severus!" _Lily thought instantly, her heart plummeting. She had remained silent for the rest of the meeting while the remainder of the Order peppered Dumbledore with questions. Of course he wouldn't answer a single one, stating quite plainly that the person's very life depended on their identity remaining secret.

That night Lily had left James to watch over Harry and submersed herself in the bath. She felt raw, confused and conflicted. On one hand, if Severus was indeed the spy then her faith in him had always been justified. He had proven what she had always known, that he was smart, loyal, loving, good and her friend – her _best_ friend her mind silently added, and Lily couldn't keep the smile from her lips.

On the other hand, if he was the spy then he had placed himself in an enormous amount of danger. Even if Lily hadn't been a member of the Order of the Phoenix she would have know that spies did not generally have long life expectancies. Suddenly she was overwhelmed by visions of Severus being tortured or lying dead in a forest or an abandoned building and she began to silently sob. No matter what had happened between them, how disastrously their friendship had ended she would never wish such an end on him.

For weeks now she had gone back and forth between wanting Severus to be the spy so that she could have her best friend back and hoping that he wasn't because it was such an inherently risky position. Several times she had come very close to going to Hogwarts in the hopes of getting Dumbledore to confirm her suspicions but each time she had wimped out at the last moment. She had even briefly entertained the idea of going to Spinner's End and asking Severus himself if he had finally seen the light and if so perhaps she could persuade him to go into hiding. But now she was virtually a prisoner in her own home and there was little to no chance she would discover any time soon if Severus was indeed Dumbledore's spy.

A small whimper pulled Lily from her reverie and she hurried into the next room. Harry sat upright in his cot, his eyes still slightly blurry with sleep, thumb stuck firmly in his mouth.

"Look who's awake – Should we go see if Dada has dinner ready?" Lily cooed as she leaned over and scooped him up. "Ugh Harry!" she exclaimed as the foul odour coming from the boy hit her nose.

The baby gurgled happily as she sat him down on the changing table and stripped the romper from him.

"This is completely disgusting."Lily assured her son as she flicked her wand towards a pail, filling it with water and sending the romper sailing into it. Harry merely smiled around his thumb while Lily efficiently removed his nappy and sponged him off before putting a new nappy on his freshly powdered bottom.

Without a backwards look she silently summoned a clean pair of pyjamas all the while talking her son. "It's Halloween tonight. Yes, it is. Maybe next year everything will be back to normal and you can go out trick-or-treating, what do you..." the pyjamas landed on the table, next to the baby's head and Lily's voice died.

She had no idea where this particular set of pyjamas had come from; they had appeared, seemingly from nowhere, in the pile of Harry's birthday presents that year. This particular pair was a striking dark green with light silver stripes running around the width of them. James had called them Slytherin pyjamas the first time he had seen them and declared them fit only for the rubbish bin. But Lily had been unable to bring herself to bin them and instead had folded them up and stuffed them at the back of a drawer.

Given her current suspicions about her former best friend's activities she was glad that she had kept them. "What do you think, Harry? Do you think Severus is secretly fighting for us good guys?" Lily whispered so softly she could barely hear her own voice. She didn't want to risk James overhearing her talking about his school rival; it would only cause a row between them.

Harry laughed loudly and kicked his heals against the mat under him. "I see we think the same way, you and I. Still, it's probably best Dada doesn't see you in this until Dumbledore confirms it and Dada is forced to admit there are good Slytherins." Lily returned the green pyjamas to the drawer and summoned a blue pair.

Smiling happily she snuggled her baby to her, certain for the first time in over a year that somehow things would all turn out right. Lily made her way downstairs humming a happy tune to herself.

"You're in a good mood tonight," James said with a smile, taking the baby from her arms.

Lily shrugged "I suppose."

"Can I assume that I'm forgiven then?"

"What's done is done, no point in being upset about it now."

"This is a good plan, Lily."

"Hmmm," Lily intoned noncommittally while crossing over to the front window to pull the curtains closed.

"Leave them open – it's not as if anyone can see in, Lil."

She shot him an annoyed look. No one but Severus had ever been allowed to call her Lil.

"Sorry," apologized James, turning towards the kitchen and muttering under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, just talking to Harry." He sounded exasperated. No doubt he was, they were both edgy and far more likely to fight with one another than they had done in the past.

Lily decided to let whatever he said go and followed him into the kitchen where James was already strapping Harry into his high chair. The table was nicely laid and the meal that sat in the centre had obviously taken James a lot of time to prepare. Instantly Lily felt sorry that she had snapped at her husband. She leaned in to give him a quick kiss.

"It looks amazing, thank you."

"You're welcome. I know how much you love Halloween so I wanted to do something special for you."

She smiled and sat down. James passed his son a piece of bread, never taking his eyes from his wife. "I know you weren't real keen on this plan, Lily but it'll work. No one would ever think that we would use Peter as a secret keeper."

Lily didn't want to point out that that was because Peter Pettigrew was the least talented of James' friends. But then for some reason she had never really warmed to Peter and Harry flat out hated him, screaming bloody murder anytime Peter tried to hold the baby. "I just don't see why we couldn't have had Dumbledore do it."

"He has enough on his plate without worrying about us."

"Then what about Sirius or Remus?"

James face constricted "Sirius is too obvious and Remus..."

"I can't believe you actually think that Remus would be a turncoat!"

"I didn't want to believe it either Lily but all the facts are there! Are you forgetting..."

Lily held up her hand to stop him. "I don't want to row James, can we just enjoy the night?"

James nodded and began to spoon food onto his plate. "I'm sorry we can't take Harry out tonight."

"Me too. Next year we'll take him around."

"Absolutely," James beamed. "It'll be brilliant, not as good as a Hogwarts Halloween but still brilliant. Do you remember in fifth year..." James began reminiscing about the joke the Marauders had played that year.

It was a story he had recounted many times before, one Lily could tune out easily enough. She had not been in the Great Hall when this particular prank had happened. Instead she and Severus had been in the potions room brewing a cheering potion and munching on candy. Her heart twisted as the sound of Severus' laughter echoed through her memory. Still she smiled in all the appropriate places and even forced a laugh or two out.

When dinner was over Lily washed the dishes while James took Harry into the sitting room. When she entered the room James was making puffs of smoke erupt from his wand while Harry tried to catch them in his chubby fists.

"I think it's time for someone to be in bed."

James leaned over and scooped up Harry into his arms, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before handing him over to Lily.

Lily muttered softly to her son as she carried him up the stairs, hoping he would fall asleep quickly. Maybe then she and James could have some time to talk, surely they could change secret keepers if they wanted. She had just reached the top of the stairs when she heard a crash from downstairs and James yelling.

"_**Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off –"**_

Lily's heart stopped. She didn't have to ask who James meant. You-Know-Who was here, Peter had betrayed them. She tried desperately to remember where she had left her wand.

"_**Avada Kedavra!"**_ the cold words reverberated up the stairs and she knew her husband was dead.

From far off Lily could hear a scream. Dimly she wondered where it had come from as she raced down the hall to Harry's room thinking that perhaps she had left her wand there. Quickly she dumped Harry into his cot and searched frantically for the slender willow stick. She almost sobbed when she found it wasn't in the room.

Lily could hear footsteps coming down the hall and knew she was almost out of time. Frantically, she grabbed the chair that sat in the corner of the room and wedged it under the door knob. Looking around she found several boxes and quickly moved them into place as well. The footsteps where coming closer and she instinctively snatched Harry back up, holding him close to her breast.

The door swung open and You-Know-Who lazy flicked his wand at the chair and boxes, sending them shooting across the room. Lily dropped Harry back into his cot and stood in front of him determined to do anything she could to try and save her son.

"_**Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"**_

"_**Stand aside, you silly girl..."**_

For a moment Lily couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, Lord Voldemort didn't ask people to stand aside; he killed them where they stood.

"_**stand aside, now..."**_

Lily was even more shocked. That was twice he had asked her to stand aside. Why would...? Her thoughts swirled as she heard herself say _**"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead –"**_

"_**This is my last warning –"**_ The cold voice said.

And then all of a sudden everything slid into place in Lily's mind. Severus, he had to be behind this. He must have tried to bargain for her life. Lily wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time. Wanted to tell the thing standing in front of her that he had just given her the greatest present he possibly could. Proof that in the end her best friend was more loyal to her than to Voldemort.

For a second she wondered if she could use this knowledge to save both her and Harry. Even as she thought through the options she was pleading _**"Not Harry! Please..."**_

There had to be a way to save them, herself, Harry and Sev _**"have mercy..."**_

Lily so desperately wanted to live just long enough to hug her best friend and tell him he was forgiven for that long ago day at the end of fifth year. Long enough to beg him to protect her son _**"have mercy..."**_

But Voldemort wasn't giving Harry a chance to live was he? And one look at his face told Lily that nothing she said or did would get her baby out of this alive. She was the only one of the Potters who had even the smallest chance of walking out of this house tonight. _**"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please –"**_

Her heart sank as she realised that Severus hadn't bargained for her entire family, but just for her. He wasn't as redeemed as she had hoped. _**"I'll do anything –"**_

This time Lily knew she wasn't talking about saving her own life or even the life of the child behind her. They were both dead and she knew it now. But Severus. His soul stood in far greater danger because once it was completely lost he would be doomed and there would be no hope for them, in this world or the next.

"_**Stand aside –"**_

She eyed the monster across from her. Severus must have begged, must have promised anything for Voldemort to go to this much effort not to kill her. In that moment, Lily knew, in her soul, that if You-Know-Who killed her this night Severus would never stop hunting him. And in destroying Voldemort, he would save something that was far more precious to her than her own life, something that was almost as precious to her as her baby's life – his soul.

"_**Stand aside, girl –"**_

Lily knew what was coming. She couldn't save herself or Harry but she could and would save Severus, her last gift to him. _"I love you, Sev," _Lily thought as the green light streaked towards her.

* * *

><p>Far away, Severus Snape awoke with a start.<p>

"Lily!" he called out, sure he had heard her whispering that she loved him only moments before. "Lily?"

He stumbled out of the bed he had fallen into only two hours earlier and reached for his clothes. "Lily?"

Severus didn't know why he continued to call for Lily when he knew that she couldn't possibly be in Spinner's End. But her voice had sounded so close, so real, not like it usually did in his dreams. He wandered down the stairs, still calling her name and trying to push away the feeling of anguish that was flooding through him.

He was pushing at the bookcase that covered the door to the sitting room when the mark on his forearm began to burn excruciatingly. He shoved the bookcase as hard as he could, causing all the books to tumble to the floor and rushed outside into the garden.

Quickly he apparated to Godric's Hollow, rushing in the direction of the Potter's house. He knew in his heart that something was terribly wrong. His entire world narrowed when he saw the wreckage of the cottage. Slowly he crossed the street and entered through the opening where the front door had been.

Severus barely spared a glance for James Potter's remains. His mind already knew what he would find upstairs but his heart begged him to be wrong. Carefully he shifted through the rubble, eyes fixed on the room at the end of the hall. He thought he could see a hand lying on the floor and silently begged the universe to not make it so.

All his dreams ended when he crossed the threshold of the room and saw Lily laying on the floor, her perfect eyes staring blankly up at him. He stumbled back against the doorframe unable to make his mind comprehend what he was seeing.

Utterly heartbroken he crawled to where she was lying and gathered Lily to him. Sobs ripped through him as he cradled her lifeless body in his arms. He could hear the baby crying behind him and vaguely wondered why the child lived when Lily was dead. The thought caused him to cry that much harder.

Severus had no idea how long he sat there, breathing in the smell of her, caressing her hair and praying to wake from this nightmare. He probably would have stayed forever but for the touch of a hand on his shoulder.

"Severus, you have to leave now," said Albus Dumbledore.

Severus shook his head violently. He wasn't leaving Lily here. They would have to pry her out of his cold, lifeless arms first.

Dumbledore sighed and gently removed Severus' hands. "Severus, the ministry will be here soon. There will be far too many questions if they find you here."

Severus stared up at his old Headmaster unseeingly. The older man put a gentle arm around the younger one and raised him from the floor. "Come with me."

Before Severus could protest he felt a tugging behind his navel and was jerked out of the house at Godric's Hollow and into Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts. Severus stumbled his way to a chair and fell into it, burying his head in his hands. He had no idea how long he sat like that, trying not to drown in the tidal wave of grief that swamped his entire being. But gradually he became aware of the fact that Dumbledore was standing over him, staring.

Severus looked up and said the first thing that popped into his head. _**"I thought...you were going...to keep her...safe..."**_

Dumbledore looked grimmer than Severus had ever seen him and he waited for the man to try to find some justification for the disaster that had happened. _**"She and James put their faith in the wrong person." **_Dumbledore paused momentarily and then carried on. _**"Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"**_

Severus wanted to scream at the man in front of him. What good did it do to remind him now of how wrong he had been to trust the Dark Lord?

"_**Her boy survives,"**_ Dumbledore continued.

Severus jerked his head. He was no fool. He knew the child lived but what difference did that make when Lily was gone? When the Dark Lord was clearly gone?

"_**Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evans' eyes, I am sure?"**_

Remember them? Lily's eyes were perfection. The old man was sadistic to taunt him with the fact that he could never hope to see them again. _**"DON'T!"**_ Severus bellowed.

He could feel his heart breaking all over again. Where had he gone wrong? What else could he possibly have done to save her, to keep her alive? Oh God, the pain was overwhelming. _**"Gone..."**_

His Lily was gone. He could never put things right between them now. _**"Dead..."**_

"_**Is this remorse, Severus?"**_

What did the bastard think, it was a bloody tea party? Of course he was remorseful. For all of it, for calling his beloved Lily that wretched name so many years ago, for becoming a Death Eater, for telling the Dark Lord the prophecy, for not keeping Lily safe as he had promised himself he would, for the fact that he was alive while she was dead. _**"I wish... I wish **_**I **_**were dead..."**_

There it was. He wished with all his heart and soul that he was gone and Lily was here.

"_**And what good would that be to anyone?"**_

Severus was about to point out the myriad of ways his death would be a good thing when Dumbledore continued: _**"If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."**_

For the life of him Severus couldn't figure out what Dumbledore was talking about and despite his despair felt the slightest stirring of intrigue. _**"What – what do you mean?"**_

"_**You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."**_

Was the man mad? If the Dark Lord were still alive then he would have summoned all the Death Eaters to proclaim his victory. No, Voldemort was dead as was the woman Severus had spent his life loving. Pride flashed through him for an instant, pride that Lily had destroyed the man who had destroyed her, though Severus didn't have the foggiest idea how she had done it. Still, this tragedy was at an end. _**"He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone –"**_

"– _**the Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."**_

Severus was about to protest but something in the Headmaster's eyes stopped him. Then from far away came a whisper _"Sev, please protect my son."_ It took all his will power to not break down again at the sound of Lily's voice.

Logically he knew that there was no way that Lily could speak to him now but his soul felt differently. For once he would follow that intuition. He would protect Lily's boy with every last breath in his body. Severus felt his resolve strengthen. Yes, he would do this. Would live his life for Lily, for the child, it was the only thing he could do now to even begin to right the wrongs he had done to her.

For a half a heartbeat he thought he could see her smiling gratefully at him from over Dumbledore's shoulder. In that second his resolve wavered. There was no way he could go through life with people talking of her to him, trying to share memories or worse – give him comfort. _**"Very well. Very well. But never – never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear..."**_

A thousand memories swirled through his mind, some happy, some sad. He could never share them with anyone though he could foresee only one person ever asking for them. _**"Especially Potter's son...I want your word!"**_

Severus thought he saw pity flicker across the other man's face but it was gone before he could be sure. _**"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" **_The man seemed to hesitate but then sighed: _**"If you insist..."**_

"I do."

"Very well." Dumbledore moved to sit behind his desk and stared intently at the young man before him, as if trying to come to some sort of a decision. Finally, he shifted back in his chair, knitting his fingers together over his stomach. "Professor Slughorn has expressed an interest in retiring. If you still wish to teach here then you are welcome to his position."

"What about the Defense Against the Dark Arts professorship?"

"I think it's best if you teach potions." The Headmaster's voice left no room for negotiation.

Severus nodded curtly. "Thank you. When can I start?"

"I'll talk to Horace tonight about a firm date."

"Then, if you don't need me anymore tonight, I'll go home."

"Severus, you are welcome to stay here in the castle."

"No, I'd prefer to be on my own."

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "I'll apparate you there."

"That isn't necessary."

"If I don't do it you'll have to walk outside of the school boundaries."

Severus had no desire to be seen by anyone at this stage and so nodded briskly. Dumbledore held out an arm and Severus grasped it tightly. Seconds later they appeared in his postage stamp of a garden. He moved swiftly to the back door.

"Severus, if you need anything..."

"I'll be fine." He didn't wait for an answer but shut the door firmly behind him. All the grief was coming back to him now and he walked blindly through the house and up to his room. Not bothering to remove so much as his shoes Severus fell down on the bed, curling up in the foetal position. Already his eyes were starting to burn again.

"Lil, I'm so sorry. So very sorry, but I swear I'll do everything I can to keep him safe. I promise. I'll die if I have to." He began to weep uncontrollably knowing it was the last promise to Lily Evans he'd ever be able to make and keep.


End file.
